Podcasts + Posts

Twice a year, I head to a different city with my friends Les & Verick to co-host, co-lead, co-teach Advance, a workshop designed to help men move forward in life. The event began almost on accident a few years ago, and has grown ten-fold in just a few years. 

In this episode of the podcast, I share some reflections from 9.0, which just took place in Dallas, Texas. 

Here’s the list- in no particular order (the order I share them, but not necessarily the order of importance): 

ONE. The faith issue isn’t going away. In fact, it’s getting stronger- and I like it. The more I lean into who I am, the more I sense that the message of grace + freedom + empowerment is the message I’m destined to carry. It’s- I’ll be honest- the place I’ve struggled the most. It’s the Father’s unique deposit in me. 

TWO. We were down a man. And we were down because Verick embodied the message of marriage that he teaches so...

At the men’s Advance events (www.EatSleepAdvance.com  ) we outline a simple process to help you move from where you are to where you’re designed to be. 

The process is simple. So so simple that I’m routinely surprised that it’s not more commonly used. 

Here it is:

First, you’ve got to admit where you are now AND decide where you want to go. 

The problem with this is that a lot of us don’t like where we are. 

Sure, maybe we’re happy about some parts of our life (i.e., we’re crushing it at work) but not other areas (example: our  marriage  is on the rocks, or our health took a backseat to the late night hours we spend cranking out all of that work). 

At the Advance we encourage guys to define where they want to be in multiple areas of life. Face it, we’re not just workers. Or husbands. Or gym-guys. Or entrepreneurs and creatives. Or just fathers. We’re all of that. 

And, sure,...

In a previous post I talked about what happens when you lose your “why” (https://www.overflowfaith.com/blog/losingwhy ). The short version… 

If you don’t stay in touch with your heart, then the INSPIRATION (which is what SHOULD drive you) gets eclipsed by the IMPLEMENTATION strategy (which should never drive you). 

Here’s what’s wrong with getting it backwards: the “thing” you choose to do can never be about HOW you do it…  

For example- 

• Dating your spouse is NEVER about going out to eat at a nice restaurant, watching a certain movie… relaxing as you walk through the park… or sitting quietly by a fire. Those are all HOWs…
• Dating IS about connecting with your spouse.

And- 

• Spending time with your kids is NEVER about tossing a baseball, watching a series of Christmas movies every night of the holidays (one of our kids’ favs), or making s’mores in the backyard....

For the past few years I’ve written and talked a lot about the WHAT, the HOW, and the WHY (as well as the WHO and YOU). 

The simple chart below helps me clarify the way in which we relate to each of these. Notice: 

• WHAT is an idea that connects with your HEAD
• HOW is an implementation strategy (for the WHAT) that connects with your HANDS
• WHY is the inspiration… the reason you implement (how) your idea (what)… it connects with your HEART…

I know. The analogy isn’t foolproof. No simple formula ever is. However, it helps us clarify how we relate to our goals (regardless of whether those are faith goals, fitness goals, family goals, etc.), and it helps us see which areas are more important.

A “why” drives it all…

Over the past two years in particular, I’ve learned that the WHAT and the HOW are susceptible to radical change. And I do mean radical. What you're doing one day and how you're doing it can literally...

Here’s what happens when you lose your “why”- you confuse the implementation strategy with your reason for having a strategy in the first place. 

Let me explain…

At the Advance we teach that the best dreams all have a few elements:

• The WHAT- actually defines the dream. It describes where we are now and where we want to be in the future. The WHAT is the goal…
• The HOW- is the implementation strategy. It’s the MEANS we use to accelerate towards and achieve the WHAT.
• The WHY- is the reason we do it all… it’s the thing that drives us, that motivates us to move towards that preferred future rather than remaining where we are.

Here’s what it looks like (notice that each corresponds with either your head, your hands, or your heart… because it’s either an IDEA, an IMPLEMENTATION, or the INSPIRATION): 

Confusion with your "why"

A lot of people get confused about their why. In fact, it’s kinda...

Several posts ago I talked about the importance of defining where you are AND where you want to be. Both are important. (This assumes you’re looking for change in some area of life, of course. If you’re not, scroll to the next post.)

If you don’t know where you WANT TO BE, then there’s no way to make a plan to head in any particularly direction. You’ll just find yourself, well… wandering aimlessly.

The other side of the equation is important, too. If you don’t know where you are NOW, then there’s no way to define your next step…

After defining these two “locations,” you can start moving towards your destiny… 

• Whether it’s losing weight…
• Whether it’s gaining a new skill…
• Whether it’s building a relationship…
• Whether it’s crushing a business goal…
• Whether it’s getting out of debt and planning for a better future….

Your mission...

We tend to compartmentalize our lives. We think that some things are “holy” and some things aren’t. Some tasks are important… and others… well… they don’t matter as much. 

The Bible tells us, “Jesus grew in wisdom, and in stature, and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52).  

Notice, He grew relationally, He grew physically, and He grew in terms of practical knowledge. Each of these areas was part of God’s plan for His life… 

Again, we tend to separate the spiritual from the "real." But these aren't disconnected ideas. This means that- 

• Healthy relationships are part of a stout spiritual life
• Healthy choices with your physical body are… well… they’re spiritual issues, too, right
• Healthy perspectives on the world around us… practical wisdom… also a spiritual issue.

In other words, everything is spiritual. Everything is being redeemed. 

Who are the...

I always thought Jesus was just comparing what He tells us to seek, as opposed to what most people seek- we seek the Kingdom; they seek stuff. Remarkably, though, it's not just the “object" of that search which He’s suggesting should be different; it's also the manner of “seeking.”

Follow me for a second... 

I’ve learned that one of the biggest hindrances to walking with a healthy soul is striving, straining, and seeking to achieve things in our own strength. That is, it’s not just “doing bad” things that knock us off course. Many times, we can do “good,” but do it from a sense of obligation instead of overflow… 

There’s a great line in the Sermon on the Mount that speaks to this…

Matthew records Jesus’ admonition: “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33). 

He tells us that if we do this- if we seek His Kingdom first AND seek HIs...

We get enamored with external things- the things “out there.” The truth, though, is that the INSIDE changes before the OUTSIDE ever does. In fact, the greatness of what’s going on inside of you determines the altitudes you’ll reach in the world around you. 

In this episode of the podcast, we take take the fifth (and final) rung of the ladder

Remember, with each rung we go higher AND closer to realizing our dreams…

• What = the idea
• How = implementation 
• Why = inspiration 
• Who = interdependence 
• You = individuality 

Once you understand the power of the mind… and how it literally creates destiny, some of the most popular Bible verses make EVEN MORE sense. Things like…

• “Take your thoughts captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
• “Be transformed… by renewing your mind” (Romans 12:1-2).
• “Be anxious for nothing…” (Philippians 4:6f).
• “Think on things that are pure, lovely,...

Look at EVERY significant turning point in your life- the good ones AND the bad ones. Most of them probably have MORE to do with a RELATIONSHIP than any other factor…

Someone believed in you…

Or someone steered you in the wrong direction…

Someone called forth the greatness in you- or shared with you an amazing idea that TOTALLY transformed your outlook on an opportunity… 

Or someone else wounded you in some way…

You see? No blaming here. Just observing… 

Relationships have POWER. Tremendous power. 

Whereas we tend to plan life around “what” we’ll do… or even “how” we’ll get it done…

… the biggest defining factor is… yes…

RELATIONSHIPS!

I’ll be honest. I never would have thought this one was true. I would have thought talent, position, money, experience… that those would get you higher, farther, faster…

Time + Experience proves it to be...