91. People are the most fantastic & frustrating things you'll ever meet (Coaches Series #11, w/ Mark Reid)

Though he never left— by his own admission— his hometown while he was growing up (the annual church trip to Six Flags— less than 2 hours away— seemed liked a big trip), Mark now lives on the other side of the planet. In Japan.

But before that he’d already spread his wings and flapped around the globe, nesting in places as different from Centerpoint, Alabama (where we both grew up, outside of Birmingham) as Tuscaloosa (Roll Tide!), FSU, Vermont, and more…

Now, he’s in Japan— a place he first lived when he taught English years ago post-college.

Mark hosts the Zen Sammich podcast, a project he launched in the past year…

I asked Mark to talk to me about friends— one of those seven key areas of life.



First, we’re created for relationships. This seems obvious— we don’t like to be alone, we feel something’s missing when we are, we all crave connection…

(I’ve written + share about this before— https://www.jenkins.tv/blog?tag=relationships)



Second, we learn more— and grow— when we’re connected to people who aren’t just like us.

Think about this one for a moment. You already know everything you already know.

(Read it again. Sounds so simple… we miss it.)

We learn the most when we’re stretched by others— when we’re encouraged to think beyond the box we’ve created, look at something from another point-of-view, and even (gasp!) talk through something where there are areas of disagreement.

We’ve almost completely lost the ability to do this today. We take it at a personal affront when someone has a different belief, contrary opinion, or doesn’t fall right in line with our opinion.

And that’s what we most often disagree on…


Mark and his wife have a great approach here…

“I have my opinion and she has hers,” he said. “But when we look at something, we both approach it with the perspective that we’re going to hear each other out… we both admit I realize I might be wrong. You might have better info...”

Think about how differently most things would go if we approached ANY conversation with that type of reference point…

It reminds me of one of Covey’s 7 Habits: “Seek to understand, not to be understood.”



Third, we all want to be accepted…

… yet we all wonder if we WILL be.

So, when you embrace someone’s idiosyncracies— or the oddest parts about them, it sets them (and you) at ease.

True freedom comes not when we hide, but we we embrace the differences, flaws and all…



Fourth, realize that in the same way you’re accepting them, they’re also accepting you.

You’re not perfect.

We like to think we are, but— in reality— acceptance goes both ways. That is, in relationships we always receive as well as give…




Links to items in this talk include:

Mark’s podcast =

21 Day Challenge = www.Jenkins.tv/21 

Oola Lifestyle Framework = www.Jenkins.tv/webinar