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Your consequences "consequence" them, too

the next best step video Jun 03, 2022

We often live under the delusion that our life is just about us- and that it’s no one else’s business. However, our decisions affect others in the same way that we affect others when they are riding in a car with us on the highway.

If I take a wrong turn on the highway, then everyone in the car takes the turn with me.

As Andy Stanley writes, “The decisions we make privately and independently are not only known by others and judged by others, but they also affect other people as well.


In driving and in life

Your driving affects everyone in the car- and, sometimes, even people outside of the car. It’s true that “it’s your life” and that you should simply do whatever you want to do.

However, you need to recognize one simple truth: There is always a group of others who are affected- be it a spouse, children, or close friends.  

Here’s another reality, too, about driving- just about every decision that you privately make becomes visible to everyone else.

Even people in another car are affected by how you drive your car...

  • If you cut into their lane, they must make adjustments and move over.
  • If you run a traffic light you may hit them.
  • If you toss something outside of your window, they may run over it and get a flat tire.

When private decisions are lived out in public, they suddenly affect other people and become their business, too.


Do they really get a say in it?

You shouldn’t get frustrated when you find people adjusting, critiquing, or talking about private decisions that you live out publicly. If you crash the car, everyone in the car crashes. If you arrive at your destination, everyone arrives. If you stop for a bathroom break, everyone stops...

I went through a painful divorce several years ago. It was unexpected, unwanted, and totally took me by surprise... 

As I listened to different people talk and gossip and wonder, it hit me: this, in some way, affects many of them, too. Not all of them, for sure. But some.

The entire thing affected family Christmases and my kids and schooling and where we live and how we can spend holidays and vacations and just about every other thing.

In other words, others were affected, too.


What it means...

So don’t get upset when people start wondering what you’re up to. Don’t get upset- get responsible.

Do they get to have a say in what you do? 

Probably not.

But do they get to have an opinion?



Because your life-driving affects those people.

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