The environment in your house drives the behavior in your home

We talk a great deal— especially in the church— about women submitting to men. And we go straight to Ephesians 5 to do it…


… when you read the entire passage, it seems that Paul isn’t giving us of DO and DON’T type of behaviors. Rather, he’s telling us how to create a climate in which everyone thrives. 



Look at Ephesians 5:2, which is the sentence that leads us into Paul’s exposition about husbands and wives and Christ and the church. 

“Submit to one another,” he writes. That is, live in a such a way you consistently seek the needs of the other above your own, promoting them and the purpose God planned for them.

(We often skip this part and move straight Into the “wives, submit to your husbands” verse.)



Here are a few things the text clearly DOES say…

  • The husband is the head— because he represents Christ (5:23) (lots of ink has been spilled over this phrase).
  • As such, he must love his wife in the same way— to the same degree— as Christ loves the church (5:25).  The woman isn’t there to serve the man anymore than we exist to meet the unmet needs of Jesus; he’s there to serve her.
  • We’re reminded the church is “one” with Christ— we are literally parts of His body. Likewise, married couples are one (5:29-30).
  • Paul references Genesis 2:24 here (see Ephesians 5:31), where God said, “The two shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This is a powerful observation that we don’t talk too much about (in large part, I think, because we can’t really comprehend it.)
  • Paul makes it clear that although we— until now— thought he was talking about marriage, he was actually writing about Christ and the church (5:32). The marriage relationship and the relationship of Jesus to His bride are so interconnected that Paul’s writing becomes blurred…



In other words, the entire marriage relationship “says something” bigger and broader than the two people in the relationship. 

What does it say? 

You get to decide… 

What SHOULD it say? 

Perhaps something bigger and better altogether… 



However, rather than beginning with behaviors and lists, perhaps we should go back to that “submit to one another” part— and see how creating the right environment and culture in the home causes everything to come alive.



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