72. I took a psych eval, because emotional health is as important as physical health (Soul Wholeness #2)

Two of the joys we most crave— freedom from guilt & shame and authentic community— exist in the place which seems scariest, the light. Those who are willing to “go there” discover true freedom comes not in hiding, but in realizing there’s nothing more to cover-up.

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For years— probably a decade or more— I was told I needed to share my story with others.

“There’s power in it. And healing,” I was encouraged. “Your words will set people free.”

A family member felt certain that owning my story would set me free, too.

The problem was that my story was… well… I didn’t want to confront it. I didn’t want to admit what was there, buried somewhere between all the pages. In order to share your story with others, you’ve got to admit that it is, in fact, your story.

Parts of it were hurtful, painful, and self-incriminating. Parts of it were embarrassing. They were at the time, anyway.

I was afraid that in sharing I would suddenly find myself not accepted but rejected. And, as you might imagine from a guy who reveals that he’s “defensive” on a psych eval, relationships have been a fragile thing for me. I didn’t want to deal with the “distance” with which people often inflict punishment when you disappoint them. Rather than dealing with with truth— and moving into the light— I was content to live in the shadows.

As such, I got cozy there. I made my home in the dark for decades.

Trouble is, there’s no freedom in the places we hide— just a lot of fear. Whereas we think that walking into the light causes fear and that living in the hidden places provides safety, the opposite proves true.

1 John 1:7-9 is a passage that’s come to mean a great deal to me (NIV, emphasis added):

…if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Scripture promises us that when we walk in the light (i.e., the “open”), two things happen: cleansing and community (John refers to “community” as “fellowship”)…

Are those not two of the things we most crave…

👉 A clear conscience?

👉 A community of people who, though imperfect, each hope and believe and call forth the best in each other, empowering the entire group to be who we’re designed to be?

Those two are found in the open, when we own our stuff, and begin stepping forward…

🚌🚌🚌🚌🚌

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Links

Take the PTSD Self-Check at www.Jenkins.tv/PTSD 

Learn more about the book, the video course, and more at www.Jenkins.tv/SW